Please enjoy the ramblings of an insomniac who wanted to push out a personal touched article. Enjoy my late night thoughts!
I've always considered myself more of a lurker than a social butterfly. I spend a lot of time in the White House halls, reading conversations, watching interactions, and seeing how people engage with one another. When you spend enough time observing rather than participating, you start to notice patterns. Some are good. Some are less so. One pattern that seems to emerge in almost every online community, ours included, is the formation of cliques.
Now, let me be clear. Cliques are not inherently malicious. Friendships are natural, and nobody should be expected to be everyone's best friend. Many of the strongest teams, funniest conversations, and most memorable moments come from people who genuinely enjoy spending time together. The problem begins when those circles become walls rather than gathering places. When newer members feel like they're looking through a window instead of standing in the room, participation starts to decline.
Perception matters. Whether intentional or not, the appearance of exclusivity can impact trust in a community. If members begin to feel that opportunities, recognition, or information flow primarily through social circles, confidence in the institution itself can suffer. People may become less likely to speak up, share ideas, apply for positions, or engage in events. Not because anyone told them they weren't welcome, but because they quietly convinced themselves they weren't part of the right group.
As someone who spends a lot of time watching from the sidelines, I've seen countless users with great ideas stay silent. I've watched talented people drift away before really getting involved. Sometimes all it takes is a simple greeting, an invitation to join a conversation, or a willingness to include an unfamiliar face. Communities rarely fracture because of dramatic conflicts. More often, they slowly lose people to feelings of disconnect and invisibility.
The White House is at its best when it feels bigger than individual friend groups. It thrives when departments collaborate, when veterans mentor newcomers, and when conversations remain open rather than insulated. A healthy community isn't one where everyone knows everyone. It's one where anyone feels comfortable walking into the room and finding a place to belong.
This isn't a call to abandon friendships or stop spending time with the people you enjoy. Quite the opposite! Strong friendships are part of what makes this community special. Rather, it's a reminder that each of us helps shape the atmosphere around us. The difference between a clique and a community is often as simple as leaving one extra seat open at the table.
As a lurker, perhaps that's the greatest lesson observation has taught me. The moments people remember most are rarely the exclusive conversations behind closed doors. They're the moments someone chose to make space for another person. And in a community built on participation, trust, and public service, those moments matter more than we realize.
These thoughts are offered not as criticism, but as reflection from someone who spends a great deal of time watching our community grow. Here's to building bridges instead of walls.
Representative
Strong circles are fine, but closed circles are what slowly empty the room.
Happy that we are getting more attention on this!
Former President of the White House
Sec. of Defense
Press Sec. GS-17 Press Comms
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